Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
