hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
