I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
