Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
