I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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