here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
