PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
