Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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