do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Randomize
