I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
