She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
