white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
