My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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