Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
