I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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