okay pat passed out under dana's car
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
