Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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