I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
