he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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