If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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