He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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