We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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