Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
