We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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