just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
