Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
