after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
