Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
