okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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