Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
