i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
