are you still at the devil's house?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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