let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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