so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
