i barfeds in our rink
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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