I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
