just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
