Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I could make wine with my vomit
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
