when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
