Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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