I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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