so explain again why im purple
no
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
