How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
