do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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