Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
