Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
