Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
