Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
