her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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