she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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