dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
