I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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