Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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