This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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